her vagine was all disorganized.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
