Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.

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(347): View more from New York

today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud

(917): View more from New York City

it's sad that this is a milestone

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(973): View more from New Jersey

I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister

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(503): View more from Oregon

I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.

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(703): View more from Virginia

He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.

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(630): View more from Illinois

How did I end up in some random dudes car?

(1-630): View more from Illinois

Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.

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