ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize