After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Found the puke drawer
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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