I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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