it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
That accounts for only three of the penises
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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