Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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