What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
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