I feel great
I just peed on a car
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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