Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
