Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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