We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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