As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
