Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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