he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
