sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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