my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize