So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
