Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize