i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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