Swine flu. Run for my life!
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize