You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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