then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
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