i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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