Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize