I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
He better not be in your backpack
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
