I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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