Plan B is the new Plan A
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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