i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
