No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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