Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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