The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
