Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
