We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
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