This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
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