ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
