Sponge bath it is.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
