I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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