How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
