I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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