She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
