Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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