Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
