I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I just blew my weed a kiss
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Randomize
