Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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