Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
