how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
