i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
