I bet he comes in French.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Randomize
