I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
