you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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