11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
