Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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