he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
