Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
