We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
