She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
