don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize