3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
