Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
All the doctor said was why
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
