It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
